Asking for What Helps Shouldn't Start With an Apology

"Could you send that in writing?"

Six words. For a lot of neurodivergent people, they take real courage.

October is ADHD Awareness Month, and I want to talk about a part that gets less attention: asking for what helps.

Often we already know what would help. Written instructions. A little processing time. A different demonstration. A checkpoint partway through.

Knowing isn't the hard part. Saying it is. So the request comes out wrapped in an apology, or in a list of what's wrong with us. "Sorry, I know this is a pain, but…"

I have ADHD. I have OCD. I have dyslexia. For years, when I brought someone new onto my team, I asked them: How do you learn? Do you need to watch someone do it? Do you need to try it yourself? I was asking other people how their brains worked years before it occurred to me to ask the same question about mine. I'm asking now.

In Grounded in How I'm Wired, every chapter includes Communication Tools: Putting Needs Into Words. They offer a starting point:

→ What's happening

→ How it affects you

→ What helps

→ What you're requesting

No self-criticism required up front.

And for managers, educators, parents and partners on the receiving end: listen carefully, and keep the meaningful outcome in view.

What's one need you've been apologizing for instead of asking for?

#adhdawarenessmonth #adhd #neurodiversity #leadership #musingsofarecoveringexecutive