Communicate a Need Without Insulting Yourself First

I used to pad every need with an apology. I'd soften it and shrink it, and make sure nobody felt inconvenienced that I needed something at all.

Looking back, those outer layers weren't kindness. They were me abandoning myself one sentence at a time: "it's fine," "I don't want to be difficult," "maybe I'm making too much of this." All of that came before I ever got to what was actually true.

If you do this too, you're not being dramatic. You learned it somewhere, probably somewhere you had to be careful.

In Chapter 6 of Grounded in How I'm Wired, I put it plainly: "You can communicate a need without insulting yourself first."

That line still stops me. A need doesn't have to come with a disclaimer about who I am.

Awareness gives us choices.

What's a layer you've started peeling back?

#neurodiversity #adhd #musingsofarecoveringexecutive