You Do Not Have to Collapse Before the Cost Counts

I thought I was resilient.

Turns out I was surviving.

And it was costing me.

The confusing part was that I was still good at my job.

😕 I could lead the meeting, solve the problem, support the team, and make the decision. My ability to deliver stayed intact long after my ability to enjoy any of it had started to disappear.

So I kept telling myself I was handling it.

I had handled worse.

People were counting on me.

It would settle down after the next deadline, the next hire, the next quarter.

There was always a next something.

Meanwhile, the cost showed up in the life I had left after work.

➡️ Less patience. Less curiosity. Less energy for the people I loved. Free time I technically had but couldn’t seem to use for anything beyond recovering.

I was giving the best of myself to the work and bringing whatever remained home.

And because I could still perform, I kept questioning whether I had a right to be exhausted.

That is a difficult place to live. When you’ve built an identity around being capable, acknowledging the cost can feel like admitting you can’t do it.

But I could do it.

That was never the question.

The question I took far too long to ask was:

What is continuing to do this taking from me?

I respect the version of me who got through those years. She made decisions with the responsibilities, information, and options she had.

I also wish she had understood sooner that her exhaustion deserved attention before it became a breaking point.

👉 Being able to carry something doesn’t make it weightless.

And you don’t have to collapse before the cost counts.

You don’t have to reach another breaking point to find out.

Musings of a Recovering Executive

Books 1 and 2 available now on Amazon.

Book 1: The Breaking Point

What has holding it all together cost you?

Book 2: Reinvention Outside the Realm of Expectation

What would you choose if you stopped choosing what was expected?

Lynn Cirillo

Author | Leadership Mentor | Founder & Principal

Grounded Leadership, LLC

Musings of a Recovering Executive

Lynn Cirillo | Grounded Leadership LLC

Musings of a Recovering Executive

#thebreakingpoint #leadership #burnout