Too Much and Not Enough: Check the Ruler

Too loud. Too direct. Too intense. Too many questions.

And somehow, at the same time:

Not focused enough. Not organized enough. Not calm enough. Not fast enough.

If you have ADHD, you may have heard both lists. Sometimes in the same performance review.

In Grounded in How I'm Wired, I wrote: "What an exhausting place to live. Simultaneously too much and not enough. Which should probably tell us something. Perhaps the measuring system is unstable."

So here's today's validation: if you've been measured as too much and not enough at the same time, the problem may not be you. It may be the ruler.

The hope is that you get to choose a better ruler. 3 ways to start:

1. Ask "too much for what?" Too direct for a vague culture can be exactly right in a crisis.

2. Keep a "seen clearly" file: feedback from people who understood how you work.

3. Stop pre-shrinking. Notice when you tone yourself down before anyone asks, and try once this week not to.

Which list did you hear more, "too much" or "not enough"?

If this sounds like you, Book 5 was written for you. Links are in the first comment.

#adhdawarenessmonth #adhd #neurodiversity #musingsofarecoveringexecutive