When Criticism Feels Like Rejection

For some of us, criticism doesn't land as "I made a mistake."

It lands as "I am a mistake."

A changed tone feels like something is wrong. An unanswered message becomes rejection. A small misstep gets replayed for hours.

You may have heard this called rejection sensitive dysphoria, or RSD. It isn't a standalone diagnosis, and not everyone with ADHD experiences it. But if you do, I want to validate it: the experience is real, and it's worth understanding.

In Grounded in How I'm Wired, I describe it as a scanner. If you've been told you're "too much" enough times, you learn to scan for too much. The scanner didn't appear out of nowhere. It learned.

Useful for survival. Exhausting for Tuesday afternoon.

The hopeful part: a scanner that learned can learn something new. 3 things that help:

1. Write two lines: what was actually said, and what I heard. They're often not the same sentence.

2. Ask one clarifying question instead of replaying it for hours: "Can you tell me more about what you need here?"

3. Set a replay limit. Ten minutes to feel it, then a deliberate switch to something absorbing.

Which one do you need most this week?

If this sounds like you, Book 5 was written for you. It gives you two things: validation for what you've been carrying, and practical tools you can test this week. Links are in the first comment.

#adhdawarenessmonth #rejectionsensitivity #adhd #neurodiversity #musingsofarecoveringexecutive